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My Worst Nightmare

I left my purse in my mother in law's car. It has my phone, my wallet and MY JOURNAL in it. I have no way of getting a hold of her to tell her I left it there. I don't have a car so I have no way of picking it up. So. My journal is left in the hands of someone that I don't necessarily trust to not read it. I'm such a sloppy mess right now that I've realized it's with her. I don't know what to do. I won't know what to say to her when I get it back because I'll never truly know if she's read it or not.

Has anyone ever had their journal in the hands of someone that couldn't be trusted to not read it? What happened?

Update
It's 15 hours later and I still don't have my journal and purse back. She told my husband last night when he got home from work that she would swing by with it today at noon (2.5 hours ago) and she still hasn't been by with it. When Mark gets home from work (another 2.5 hours from now) I will have him call her and find out what the hell is going on.

I'm soooooo fucked up over this, guys. I'm glad I could talk to you all about this- no one else would get it.

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Comments

( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
iberrypink
Oct. 12th, 2014 02:57 am (UTC)
You might know that I posted once about my journal being stolen? Well, I've also had my journal left somewhere - recently, in fact - before and like with you, it was a complete nightmare! I couldn't sleep, had nightmares and I wasn't sure if it had been read or even if the person who had it was telling the truth that it wasn't read (I have reason to believe it was read, she was much too curious about my journals). It was such a horrible experience for me that when I got the journal back, I never wrote in it again. It no longer felt "safe" and it took me some time just to get okay to the NEW one.
kinston
Oct. 12th, 2014 03:02 am (UTC)
I didn't know you had a journal stolen before (or I don't remember, which is also possible)! How horrible. I'm going to go back and search for that entry in a bit but for now I'm just going to take some sleep aide and try to lay down and rest until my husband gets home from work. I'm literally shaking.
sarahrose
Oct. 12th, 2014 03:15 am (UTC)
I would say get ahold of her and deal with this ASAP, even though you're scared. One foot in front of the other is always always important in all aspects of life. I've been nervous about this kind of thing a couple times, but never in a reality kind of situation like this. I really really feel for you, though. I feel panicky just reading this. You know we all understand.

I really really hope this works itself out.

Keep us posted!
kinston
Oct. 12th, 2014 06:24 pm (UTC)
It's 15 hours later and I still don't have my journal and purse back. She was supposed to drop it by two hours ago and of course she can't call me to tell me he's running late or if something came up so I'm just sitting alone in my house being a nervous wreck.
sarahrose
Oct. 12th, 2014 06:29 pm (UTC)
Oy yoy yoy. I hope this clears up soon. I know how exhausting it is to be so consumed with worry. I really feel for you. I wish this hadn't happened and I hope she has the integrity to resist her urge.
smashleighfig
Oct. 12th, 2014 04:02 am (UTC)
I personally wouldn't mention the journal was in the purse, I would just say you had left your purse in there and it has your wallet, etc. Hopefully she wouldn't go through it! I have had mine read in the past, it's not a good feeling for sure. It rook me a year to feel safe again. I hope you can get it back soon and she respects you enough not to read it!
kinston
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:36 am (UTC)
I thank you so much for supporting me during my shitty twenty-four hour journal loss. ♥
savannahjan
Oct. 12th, 2014 04:35 am (UTC)
I agree with smashleigh. Just tell her you left your purse, and need it back ASAP. Hopefully she won't go through it. But if she finds it without you, she might open it up to see what it is.
kinston
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:35 am (UTC)
Thank you for your support. ♥
araminya
Oct. 12th, 2014 05:35 pm (UTC)
When I was a teenager, my mum locked herself in my room during a fight and read my journal on the computer. I still don't trust her to not read my stuff.
kinston
Oct. 12th, 2014 06:22 pm (UTC)
This is one of the most horrid things I've ever heard. No wonder you lack trust!
cute_market
Oct. 13th, 2014 10:04 am (UTC)
I feel for you, I really do :(

About three years ago, when I still stored my journals in a locked box at my mom's house due to space issues at my new place, I visited home and decided to look though them for nostalgia's sake. The box wasn't where I left it, under the bed in my old room. I went completely insane - it was top secret, nobody knew about that box or what was in it, or so I thought.

"Oh, that box with all your diaries in it? I gave it to your great uncle to look after." was all she had to say when I stumbled down the stairs and begged her to tell me what happened to it. I made her phone him there and then to make him bring it back. And when I got it back, in a fit of madness, I dragged the box out into the yard and burned it, journals and all. I felt so screwed up that anyone had even touched it, never mind thinking about how my mom knew that my journals had been inside it when I was careful never to tell her anything about it (she has mental health issues, and our relationship had been tenuous at best - she had also openly read my journal in the past when I forgot it in the car one time going to school).

I still mourn their loss, but I could never even look at that box again without feeling violated. On the flip side, I wonder if my attachment to them was at all healthy given the OTT reaction I had when I found they were missing. But there you go ^^;;

I really hope you got it back, though (and sorry for the mad essay of a comment) *big hugs* :((
kinston
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:35 am (UTC)
Oh god that story you shared is absolutely horrible. There might be something wrong with me mentally, but it made me shed a tear for you. I can't imagine how you must have felt. To not have it in another person's possession but by TWO other people... both of whom should have never touched it in the first place... is horrifying.

I feel like my journals are a part of me and thus I justify the attachment I have with them. I thank you for sharing with me. I'm happy to tell you I got my journal back about 24 hours after it was left behind.
pinska
Oct. 13th, 2014 11:02 pm (UTC)
Reading journals without being invited is such an invasive feeling.

For a few years, I was writing online only and very regularly and the girl who was at one time my best friend (but who was at the time, decidedly not someone I wanted to be around) found my new address and read 200+ entries over a few days. At first I didn't know it was her, so it was a partial relief it was her versus someone else.

That violated feeling...yes, I completely get it.

Is there something in it that could make her mad or see you in another light?
kinston
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:31 am (UTC)
I'm so thankful you shared this anecdote with me. I'm glad to not feel so alone in my feelings I was battling. I've since got my journal back and I will never know whether or not it's been read. I'm sure there are things written in there that would make my MIL feel differently about me, yes. I'm quite honest about everything in my journal.
crookedfingers
Oct. 14th, 2014 09:52 pm (UTC)
journal
Have you gotten back your journal from your mother in law?
kinston
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:30 am (UTC)
Re: journal
I got my journal back more than 24 hours after it was left behind. I didn't feel like updating because I was quite a bit depressed over the entire situation. I'm thankful for the support I got here at Embodiment, though.
crookedfingers
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:35 am (UTC)
Re: journal
Glad you got your journal back-maybe you should leave it home and not take it anywhere-take a notebook or paper when you leave your house to write down stuff to write later in your journal-have a good week writing-peace
magick_mel
Oct. 17th, 2014 02:19 pm (UTC)
Did you get your journal back??
kinston
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:29 am (UTC)
I got my journal back more than 24 hours after it was left behind. I didn't feel like updating because I was quite a bit depressed over the entire situation. I'm thankful for the support I got here at Embodiment, though.
sarahrose
Oct. 18th, 2014 07:32 pm (UTC)
What's the update?!
kinston
Oct. 21st, 2014 01:29 am (UTC)
I got my journal back more than 24 hours after it was left behind. I didn't feel like updating because I was quite a bit depressed over the entire situation. I'm thankful for the support I got here at Embodiment, though.
redcurlyq
Oct. 21st, 2014 07:31 pm (UTC)
I. Am so glad you got it back !! My mom read my journal when I was a teenager. She's also just a nosey person! I hate it
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )